Things I love about Missouri and Kansas

Posted by dumbwhore on May 23rd, 2003 filed in Uncategorized

  • My allergies are pretty good here
  • You can be driving down the road and suddenly you drive by a cowboy taking care of his herd
  • Moonshinin’ ain’t dead
  • You can also drive down the road and spook an owl. If you’ve never experienced this(especially on a motorcycle) there is nothing like it. They’re just enormous!
  • Most people assume you’re up to something good.
  • Forgetting to lock your door is not likely to end up in disaster(although generally not the best idea.)
  • There are friggin’ lakes all over the place.
  • We have plenty of microbreweries…even if a lot of them seem to give it up after a few years.
  • There are still building sitting around that obviously were used to defend against Indians.(I’ve got to show you a picture of one out in Lawrence.)
  • Almost all cities still have a town square, complete with courthouse and a few shops.
  • I get out of speeding tickets because I drive a cool American-made car.(at least for a few more days.)
  • Bib-overalls can still be sported in 99% of all locations without derision. True fact: I was buying my first pair in order to change the oil in the car. So I’m in Sears and me and a buddy are talking about how much sense overalls or coveralls make. When the elderly lady who was checking me out found out that I was going straight home in order to change the oil she said this: “You’re going to ruin a brand new pair of overalls?” There was an assumption that of course I had some old overalls that could be sacrificed to such a dirty task.
  • Getting or giving an ass-whooping is still entirely a possibility if you’re being a dumbass.
  • You can like country music and at least a third of the room won’t hate you for it.
  • You can like punk rock and at least a third of the room will forgive you and hope you grow out of it.
  • You can say “Howdy” and about 15% of the time the other person will say it back.
  • Awesome authentic Mexican food is all over the place. Although good fish tacos are few and far between. Ask and he’ll explain.
  • 15 minutes spent talking with your neighbor is time spent well, not time wasted.
  • It’s the ONLY place that I’ve ever been thanked for serving in the military AFTER I’d finished my 4 years.
  • Vegetable gardens and clotheslines are still items in some backyards.

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